At times my heart aches. It aches to be loved. It aches because I’m grieving. It aches because I can’t heal my children’s aching hearts. In those times I turn to my Lord and ask him to heal my broken spirit and to fill me with his love. I believe we all want to be loved and when we aren’t loved or feel like we aren’t, it can bring about depression, sadness, bitterness, anger, etc. I’ll even go as far to say that we may feel like we have a hole in our heart when our heart aches for ourselves or those we love.
Although some holes serve a purpose, most holes usually are not good. Have you ever seen a sink hole. I mean the kind that you actually see? When they are below the surface and you do not know they are there, those ugly little things are somehow getting bigger and the bigger they get the more destructive they become and left untreated they can cause deadly destruction. You see them all too often on the news when someone’s house has been swallowed up by them, or a piece of road becomes impassable. One can only hope that when the sink holes actually present themselves that people are not in the way. I can remember not too long ago (sometime over the past 2 years I believe) I was watching the news and there was a story of a house being swallowed by a sink hole somewhere in the State of Florida. Unfortunately, there was one adult man in the house at the time and he was swallowed up along with the house. What a tragedy that was. No one could do anything. Sink holes occur for many reasons and are either formed by natural or artificial processes. There are also holes in the ocean floor, and/or beneath the land near the sea shore. Some holes can be filled, thus preventing them from causing destruction. However, some holes will eventually open up further and cause destruction that may lead to heartache.
Just recently, after an annual physical, I was sent to a cardiologist to determine the cause off my abnormal ECG (EKG). Turns out I have an electrical blockage in the left side of my heart. It’s called LBBB (left bundle branch blockage). I hadn’t had any symptoms that would have led me to think I had a problem with my heart but the EKG told the story. My initial reaction was fear. I was in fear of not knowing what my future would hold, fear of finding out what the prognosis was, fear of just not knowing. After all, there was something wrong with my heart. My grandson was born with a hole in his heart several years’ ago and has been going to a pediatric cardiologist since birth. When he found out I had to go see a cardiologist he said, “Nana Net, don’t be afraid. I don’t get scared when I go see my doctor. I get to watch a movie while they are looking at my heart and it’s fine.” I had to laugh. It was so cute. I’ve been at peace with it since then.
I love the song, “Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, with all you mind, with all your soul and with all your strength.” And, Hezekiah Walker’s new song, “Every Praise” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qTHLT1D6Glo (Every praise is to our God, every word of worship is due our God — God my Savior, God my healer, God my deliverer, Yes He is, Yes He is . . . We actually sang both songs at church the Sunday after I found out about my heart. God has a way of putting things into perspective and his timing is impeccable.
As I sit here praising God, I know that no hole is too big, and no blockage is too deep for my God.
Acts 13:22 says in part that David was a man after God’s own heart. That is my prayer; that God takes care of my heart, but more than that . . . that every day I continue to focus on drawing closer to God and that He knows that I am a woman after his own heart. That is . . . my heart to His.
Heart to Heart!!!